Jesus answered the Pharisees by correcting them and stating that the original intent was not to have divorce, but, because of the sinfulness of man, divorce was a concession. He reminds them of Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." -Genesis 1:27,28
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." -Genesis 2:24
Jesus focuses on God's intent for marriage rather than on divorce. God intended for the husband and wife to be spiritually one. This Divine intent is what makes a marriage permanent because the two become a single unity. He pointed out that Scripture intended marriage to be permanent and gave four reasons for the importance of marriage:
- God created man and woman.
- Man should leave his father and mother, and be forever united to his wife.
- The two shall become one - no longer two, but one.
- No man may divorce what God
has joined together.
Marriage is a covenant
Not only a covenant between the man and woman but a
covenant with God. Maybe you got married too young and maybe God had nothing
to do with the selection of the person. Once you made that commitment, that
covenant, God recognizes it as a covenant no matter who you married (1 Cor.
7:10-17).
In today's society, a fad that's in the church as much as it is in the world
is to not take the marriage covenant as seriously as we once did.
Today, if a Christian wants a divorce, they twist the scriptures to fit their
desire or they hear a prophecy, or a voice that says, "God doesn't want you to
suffer anymore." They try to justify their decision to others because they
KNOW they're guilty. These fine Christian people, ministers, pastors,
prophets, and evangelists come up with all sorts of wild ideas why it's okay
to divorce. But, there truly are few good reasons to divorce.
Is it okay to divorce my spouse since God didn't put us together in the first place?
Your answer is in 1st Corinthians 7:13:
"And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."
It may not be God's perfect will, being married to
an unbeliever, but God still recognizes the covenant.
Is it okay to divorce my spouse if they are abusive?
This reason has become increasingly popular today.
Surely it can't be God's will for me to stay with a person who beats me up two
or three times a week. God doesn't want his temple being beat up, but it's not
grounds for divorce. It is grounds for separation. You'd be a fool to stay in
that situation. But, you separate yourself and give yourself to fasting and
prayer, asking God to intervene in the situation bringing reconciliation to
your marriage.
Is it okay to divorce my spouse if they commit adultery?
In my opinion, this is the only reason given in
Scripture as grounds for divorce. The exception of "marital unfaithfulness"
[Gk porneia] is not in the parallel passages Mark 10:11-12 or Luke
16:18. Perhaps Matthew included it because he was writing to the Jews where
there was a dispute between the schools of Shammai and Hillel over the
interpretation of "something indecent" (Deut. 24:1). The Shammai school held
that "something indecent" meant "marital unfaithfulness." The Hillel school
held that it included anything that becomes displeasing to the man. Apparently
there were those who believed in granting a divorce in the case where a
husband discovered premarital unchastity after the marriage had taken place,
and this would appear to be what Jesus was addressing in the Matthew passage.
The passage in Matthew seems to help clear up this dispute, seemingly siding
with the Shammai interpretation, thus making "marital unfaithfulness" as the
only allowable cause for divorce. In the case of premarital unchastity, the
couple should remain together.
If your spouse leaves you and commits the act of adultery against you, then
you're free to divorce them (Matt. 5:32; 19:9). In Old Testament law, the
offending parties in adultery would both be put to death (Lev. 20:10; Dt.
22:22), thus leaving the innocent party free to remarry (Rom. 7:2; 1Cor.
7:39). Under the New Covenant, the sin of adultery is not diminished, but the
penalties or results are redefined in light of grace and the innocent party
has a proper right to end the marriage by divorce and is free to remarry
another believer.
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." -Matthew 5:32
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." -Matthew 19:9
This doesn't mean that you immediately get out of
the marriage. Just upon the act of adultery, you shouldn't rush to the
divorce court. Your first act should be, "...if a
man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in
the spirit of meekness..." (Galatians 6:1). In 1 Corinthians
7:10-11, Paul writes, "And unto the married I
command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her
husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
If they refuse to restore and continue in the act of adultery, then you have
every right to divorce.
Is it okay to divorce my unbelieving spouse if they desert me and want a divorce?
This does seem to be a second possible allowable case for divorce. You need to be careful here though. 1st Corinthians 7:15 says,
"But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."
I say to be careful here because a lot of people get
this verse wrong.
Let's assume for the sake of this discussion the guy is the believer and the
girl is the unbeliever. Let's say the guy is a real creep. He is such a creep
this woman finally gives up and says, "I am not living with you anymore." To
justify himself, he goes to 1st Corinthians 7:15 where it says, "let him
depart." But friends, that's not the spirit of this verse.
Let's say, for example, both people in this marriage were unbelievers when you
got married. Later, the guy becomes a believer in Christ, and now is living
for God. If this woman says, "You choose God or me," you're going to choose
God, right? Well if the unbeliever wishes to depart, they cannot live with you
because of your Christian walk, there's nothing you can do. You would not be
under bondage. You would not be condemned to a sin by God.
If the unbeliever wants to depart from you because you are rotten, you are no
good, you don't work, you don't provide and you just mistreat her all day, you
are not released. You can't just say, "Well I just release her." You better be
praying that she comes back, or he comes back, because it's your sinfulness
that drove that person away.
This verse is talking about a believer because of faith in Christ and devotion
to God, they find themselves in this situation. It's not an excuse for
selfishness. If she wants to depart from you because you became a Christian,
you've got to choose between her and Jesus. You choose Jesus, you lose her,
and you're not under bondage in those cases.
Keep in mind, too, that this verse doesn't apply to when a believer is the one
divorcing their mate. In this case, prayer and fasting should be the response,
praying that God would restore the marriage. If, however, the mate departs and
then remarries, then you're free. In their act of marrying someone else they
have committed adultery against you.
If you're a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and find yourself in a divorce
situation with a believing spouse, don't lie to yourself and say, "Well
they're really an unbeliever" or "I can't put up with this abuse". What you
need to do is to fast, pray, and to possibly separate because you're going to
make a horrible decision in the middle of that mess. What you need is to get
focused on God and get his directions, rather than to stay and fight and
argue.
The purpose of the separation is for reconciliation. The purpose of fasting
and prayer is to find out what your part of the problem is, to say, "God, how
can I change?", even if they're the one that's doing wrong. If you're
responding wrongly to their wrong, now you're wrong too.
What the Bible says about remarriage
"And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." -Mark 10:11,12
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." -Matthew 5:32
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." -Matthew 19:9
What are biblical grounds for remarriage?
The Bible does give you permission to remarry in a
few situations. If your spouse committed adultery against you, you can divorce
and remarry (see discussion above). If your unbelieving spouse deserted you,
even if they don't remarry, you can remarry (1Cor. 7:12-16). Or if you're a
widow or a widower the Bible says you can remarry. If you remarry in another
situation, regardless of the cultural acceptance of it, you commit adultery.
What's the remedy for the sin of adultery?
It's the same as for any other sin. Adultery is not the unforgivable sin. If you've made a mistake, don't defend your action, ask for God's forgiveness! Ask God to forgive and cleanse you. He'll forgive the sin of adultery just like He'll forgive any other sin, whether it be lying, murder, or any other sin that we could ever commit. You might think that God can't forgive you because you can't make it right. Well, if you murdered someone and they're dead in the grave, how do you make that right? God will forgive you if you ask Him.
"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." -1st John 1:8-10
SOURCE of this excellent article.
